hungry

i've been waiting for my friend to get his taxes done, so we can go get some grub cause i'm friggin' starving. i'm watching food on tv and that's not helping at all. And i know if i try to eat just a snack, i won't be able to stop munching. So I am waiting here with my insides churning from hunger pangs. Besides food, i'm hungry for change. i always get into these funks where i feel like life is so boring and once again i'm doing nothing of importance with my life. Did you ever feel like your living life but just going through the motions? Not really living? I guess it's time for a vacation. I'm not sure where to go this year. I usually only take 1 long vacation a year (long is equivalent to 1 week - not like our European compatriots), and I take long weekends to visit the BF when I can. I guess that's why I liked having a long distance relationship. Because it allows me to travel and get away every now and then. Traveling is fulfilling because not only do you always experience something new (even if you've been to that location several times over) but you get to be in a different environment from the dull monotony of every day life. Now, some people live life to the fullest every day and enjoy their lives no matter where they are. And more power to you, if you do. But it's not so easy for me. Perhaps because I'm a couch potato at heart? lazy? tired? It's a worse syndrome in the Winter when it's too cold to be walking about. Like i've said before, i love summer in the city. Winters get pretty brutal. and maybe that's why I start feeling like i need a change and need to get out...Maybe a weekend trip to South Beach will brighten my outlook.
i was just reading an article in NY Magazine the other day about changing your life by moving to another country or starting your own business or writing a novel. So it looks like I'm not the only one that feels this way, and there are actual people who do take the big step. Perhaps one day I'll write a novel. Perhaps one day I'll start my own business. Perhaps one day I'll leave the country? I don't think I have the guts to do it. My parents did it...they left the Phillipines to start a new life here in the U.S. so I should be able to do the same in some other country, right? Hmm not sure. This will be a long standing debate in which I will probably never end up winning as it will be too late for me to ever make the move. Maybe instead of choosing another country to live in, I need to start smaller and choose another state.
And what about my brain? I think I need some more mental stimulation. Watching reality tv every day and sitting at home does not feed the brain cells. I've tried recently to learn new things - it may not be totally academic but atleast it's something...I tried to knit and I actually completed a project.. well I'm half way done..I knit some fingerless gloves, and now need to knit the mitten portion that you wear over it. And I took up a new dance - African. It's a good work out and you can jump your way to stress relief. It's good but I guess i'm craving more...but anyway I think i will have to grab a snack now because i'm feeling kind of faint...