fast turnaround!

Now that the baby learned to turn himself from back to front, he keeps doing it, now with much more ease. The 1st time was quite a struggle. But now that we have been back from Christmas holiday, every time we put him on the floor, he is able to flip himself over to his stomach. The trouble is he doesn't know what to do once he's there. He struggles to move forward, gets frustrated and starts crying. It's kind of funny but not really, since now basically he's crying every time I set him down on the floor. And we have to go and flip him back so he is lying on his back. But it's crazy how fast he progressed from barely being able to turn over last week to now quickly doing so. Pretty soon I guess he'll be rolling all over the place when he learns to turn from front to back and then he'll be crawling and I'll be chasing him all over the apartment. It really is nutso how big they get so quickly. I keep looking at his newborn pictures and comparing him to now. I really can't believe he's double the size now.

homework

i haven't blogged in quite some time. maternity leave ended and i started working from home and watching the baby at the same time. it can be quite a juggling feat sometimes. changing diapers, feeding, entertaining, pacifying amidst one handed email writing, phone calls, spreadsheets, etc. the most difficult would be phone calls because a lot of times the baby wants to be loud during those times. it's pretty much ok with my colleagues since they know i work with the baby, but i'm just wondering what our clients think when they hear a baby crying in the background. it also can be difficult to concentrate when you are trying to calm down the baby and hear what the other person is saying on the other line. ah well - i still get the job done regardless. anyway i work via email most of the time so i don't have to deal with that too often. typing emails/working on the computer with one hand and holding the baby in the other does slow me down quite a bit though. i have good days and bad days, the baby has his good moods and grumpy ones, but i guess so does everyone else. i'm just thankful that it worked out this way so that i don't need a babysitter/daycare and i still have a paid full-time job. there was a lot of stress with the job in the beginning due to a crazy transitioning, but it looks like all is pretty much resolved now and things have begun to calm down. hopefully it will continue on this path for next year. no drama please.

this Sunday will already be baby's first Christmas! wow imagine that. already the first major holiday, Thanksgiving, passed and now we are already at Christmas. he got to visit Santa a few weeks ago. and yesterday the baby turned over from his back to his front for the first time! he didn't know quite what to do once he was on his stomach but he did it!! it took quite some force on his end to get to the other side. it sounded like quite a struggle. but he was able to repeat it 2 more times that evening. time sure flies. before you know it, the baby will be crawling all over the place, and I'll be in trouble then because i am sure he'll get into trouble if i bat an eyelash. so it will be tougher to work and watch the baby at the same time. i guess a playpen will be in order. i got him foam tiles for the floor for xmas since we have hardwood floors, but will probably need a fence of sorts.

on another note, not sure if i should be mentioning this in a blog, but i got my period last month right before thanksgiving and now again this month. it's back with a vengeance. i guess it's making up for time lost. i thought you weren't supposed to get it if you were still nursing? maybe i got it because i started supplementing and the baby does not feed as much from me? ah well at least i was period free for a year!

the baby has been good with sleeping through the night since his 3 month visit from the doctor's. i think it is because i started supplementing at every feed. he's not as hungry. on occasion he wakes up once in the middle of the night at 2 or 3 am but he will typically sleep at 8:30ish pm and wake up at 5:30ish am. his morning talks can be quite loud and shrill. i think he's practicing his vocal range from supreme alto to bass. it can be quite hilarious to hear at times but at 5 in the morning, you sometimes wish you could turn the volume down a notch. all in all i can't complain. i've got a pretty good-tempered, seemingly happy for the most part, healthy baby who has an infectious smile (must be the dimples). i've got a hubby who makes me breakfast and dinner daily and does the house cleaning. what more can you ask for? although maybe sometimes the hubby feels underappreciated. my bad. i sometimes feel the same way - we're all only human and doing the best we can. i guess i can be all consumed in work and baby sometimes, and i don't give enough attention to my hubby who is my backbone and strength and whose help i need (and do appreciate very much so) because i couldn't do this all by myself.

on a sad note, my mom's best friend's sister passed away a couple of day ago, right before the holidays in a tragic hit and run motorcycle accident. i didn't really know her but i do know my mom's best friend and i know how awful it must feel to lose a sibling. i know their family is very close knit. it's sad when tragedy strikes at any time but even harder i think when it is the holidays because the holidays are supposed to be a happy occasion but then it becomes linked to a sad event. but so goes the cyle of life...you really need to be thankful for each day you have and share your love with those you care about because you really really never know.

crazy weather we're having isn't it?

Snow storms in October, earthquakes, hurricanes. What a year! This year has been chock full of adventures. New baby, new husband, new home...new job (sort of, not really)...what's next? 2011 will sure be memorable to say the least. I know change is good. But I wouldn't have expected so much change in so little time. You really just never know what's in store for you in the future sometimes. If someone would have told me this time last year that this all would be happening to me, I would have said, "shut the front door! yeah right." But here I am a Mrs. and a mother, growing, learning, living, loving. So on the first snow day of the winter season (a rarity in October), I sit and reflect, staring out the window at the white laced trees and slushy streets. Is this a sign of crazy snow storms this year? Of a brutal next few months? Of hot cocoa days and marshmallow nights? All I know is I get to share it all with my new family.

Pooptastic Adventures in Babysitting

The other night my bf had a gig so I was home alone. It was 6PM and it was already getting dark, a sure indication that the seasons are changing and that fall is definitely around the corner. or is already here. OK - I had meant to go into a short story of how the baby did a poo and I went to change the diaper and he wasn't exactly done yet, so needless to say I had to use a lot of wipes and it was quite a mess. But I haven't blogged in a while and now I lost my train of thought for my pootastic story. It's probably a subject most people don't want to read about anyway. I haven't been blogging since the baby has been quite fussy during the afternoons, which is usually when I try to write. Not to mention, with my company in transition, I've been quite stressed and checking work emails in my free time instead of attending to personal ones. But it's quieted down now. Hope the job situation resolves soon. If I end up not having a job anymore, maybe it's a blessing in disguise since I get to focus on taking care of the baby. Although financially, it wouldn't be too good of a thing. The one thing I know for sure is that my Brooklyn office will be officially closed end of October, so if I do continue working, I have to work from home anyway.

This evening, the baby has thrown up massively. He spit up a little because we tried giving him formula. I thought he was hungry because he was breastfeeding for so long and crying the whole time, so I thought he wasn't getting enough milk. But I think in the end, he did end up getting enough, and he spit up the little formula that he did drink. I was putting him to sleep, and he ended up throwing up all over me and himself - not a whole lot but it was like thickened milk. And maybe a half hour later, after he had fallen asleep and he was put in the crib, he threw up again massive - all over the crib, it even came out of his nose, a thick white. Aargh. Poor baby. Totally freaked me out. I think maybe he over-ate, with a little mix of congestion. He didn't cry or fuss, and after clean up, was ready to go back to sleep like nothing had happened. Weird. I mean I was warned to expect projectile vomit but when it happens, you get all paranoid that something may be seriously wrong. Well I'll keep a watch out to see if this throwing up is persistent.

time flies!

i can't believe that my baby boy is 1 month old today. that was pretty fast. he's gotten bigger. 2 inches taller. and initially he had lost weight but now he is past his birthweight at 7 lbs 14 oz. he's on the lower end as far as weight goes but the dr said it was still acceptable. I think recovery for me has been good. I no longer experience any pain at my side when i try to sit up after i have been lying down for several hours. that's good! i think i still look 4 months pregnant...well maybe i look 3 months preggers now. the belly has definitely gotten smaller since i first got home. my bellybutton is becoming more concave instead of being totally flat and non-existent. That's a good sign i suppose. i don't think i have many clothing options that keep the nursing bra properly unseen and allow for easy access to the boob, while fitting my bigger than normal belly. Every time my sister sees me, she says i've started to dress like mom. ugh! anyhow so be it.

sleep - cry - eat- sleep - cry - eat - poop/pee - eat - sleep - repeat

so it seems like my baby wants to eat every hour or he feeds for what seems like over an hour which the doctor says shouldn't be. if they want to feed every hour, they more than likely are using the nipple to pacify themselves. it seems like the only way to stop my son from crying is to feed him and i feel like he genuinely is hungry even though they say he shouldn't be hungry. sometimes he'll feed for only 5 minutes, fall asleep, and when I put him down, he'll want more. So maybe he's not feeding long enough in that instance. But sometimes he's literally on the boob for 30 to 45 minutes. On occasion, rocking or patting his back will make him go to sleep after he's been satisfactorily fed and continues to cry. What seems like a never ending feeding pattern is what makes me feel exhausted because it feels like consistent feeding/crying.

yesterday we introduced the pacifier. or in England they call it a "dummy". i like to refer to it as a binky. well if the theory that he's only trying to pacify himself is correct, then the binky would work to make him stop crying and fall asleep, right? i was worried he may not eat enough if he's sucking on this thing all the time (that's what it mentioned in the "what to expect in the 1st year" book), but it seems like he doesn't keep it in for that long. it only works temporarily for about 5-10 minutes, and then he spits it out and he cries and seems to want actual milk. is my baby orally fixated? does he really eat as much as it seems? or is he really only wanting a way to pacify himself? i just fed the baby again this morning for like the umpteenth time, and he didn't fall asleep so he started crying, which is his usual pattern. so i was able to pat him on his back until he fell asleep, instead of feeding him again, because he probably was finally genuinely full. it seems like he is really asleep now, not just in a temporary 5 minute milk coma. usually when he's really out, he'll sleep for about 2-3 sometimes 4 hours. although some people say, you shouldn't start patting him on the back, because he'll get dependent on that to fall asleep, and you'll have to do that all the time. but i have to do something to appease the baby.

While I was trying to sooth and rock the baby to sleep, it reminded me of my grandmother. She used to sing and pat the babies' back to make them go to sleep. And i felt like i was imitating her or i learned what i am doing from her. she babysat for a lot of people's children, including my sister when she was an infant. she watched over my cousin and me after school, but we were already older. i think she came to the states when we were about 5-6 years old. She even got to meet and take care of my cousin's first child for a little bit. it made me sad to think that my grandmother will never meet my son. she was a very kind, sweet and loving woman, and i miss her even to this day when i think about her. i don't recall any conversations i had with her but i guess when you're a kid, you appreciate, even without speaking, when a person watches over you, and you can feel how much a person loves you by how they care for you. She moved back to the Philippines when my grandfather retired. I remember she didn't want to go back, but my grandfather did. I forgot how old I was. She passed away unexpectedly when I was around 24. My cousins and I, along with my dad, my aunt and uncles flew down for the funeral. It was nice to be in the Philippines with all the family for the first time, but then it was sad because of the reason we were all there. Anyway, it's nice that I still have memories of her and can use what I remember as I now watch over my own baby.

during one of my 3 am feeding, i started wondering why nature made it so that in mammals, females are the ones who have to carry a baby, go through labor and breastfeed. all males have to do is donate their sperm and they're done with the whole baby development process. why didn't nature allow males to participate more, maybe the feeding process at least? i suppose a female is more invested so that once the baby is born, it is instinctual to take care of the baby and not abandon him/her, although there may of course be exceptions. i guess in nature, males are busy hunting and providing while the females take care of the brood for the continuation of the species. so for humans, what motivates a man to take a more active part in the whole baby care-taking process? must be L-O-V-E.

Our baby is now almost 3 weeks old. Amazing. He's so cute. He's survived an earthquake and now Hurricane Irene! OK, I admit the earthquake was nothing to write home about but still what a week for natural disasters in NY. Earthquakes are so unusual that when it occurred, I thought I was having a dizzy spell or someone really heavy was bounding up the stairs of our apt building and shaking the toilet (which is where I was when the earthquake occurred). Our neighborhood didn't sustain that much damage after Hurricane Irene passed through, but we did see a few fallen trees and branches around due to the high winds. Since we are at a higher elevation, we had no flood issues. (I guess I shouldn't complain about having to walk uphill across the avenues to get home.)

So far, I don't think we've damaged the baby yet. Using the baby bjorn for the first time was a little stressful, but we did it. Baby in the pujtub seems to be working out well at bath time. The smaller tub makes it easy to handle the baby as the baby has no where to slip. I think I'm feeding the baby enough. It's not hurting as much to breastfeed anymore. Hopefully he is now at birthweight. He gets weighed in tomorrow if the dr's office is open (they shut down all the subways this weekend due to the hurricane so not sure if the trains will be up and running tomorrow or if people will be back at work).

can't believe summer is almost over and labor day is this coming weekend. time sure does fly. my maternity leave will be over before i know it. hmm my boss called me on monday to see how things were going with the baby, but he called on thursday for a work related question...he has no one to talk to anymore so he misses me already. i don't quite share the same sentiments.

easy peezy, eggs overeasy!!

Some free time while the baby sleeps.

I had a pee leakage fiasco this morning. I was feeding him at about 4:30 or 5 this morning, and I noticed after that my tank top was wet where the baby had been lying. Oh man - the leaky diaper strikes again! And then when I went to check on him this morning, his diaper leaked once again all over his blanket and shirt. So I went to change him and clean him up, and he decided to spray fresh pee all over me. Well, actually it was only all over my forearm and the changing table. But yowzas that's a lot of pee for one morning!! Pee is only the beginning. I know there will be leaky poo (I did experience some of that already) and the projectile vomit. All in the days work of a parent.

Speaking of leaky, yesterday I had an overeasy egg with fried rice and tomatoes. I haven't had overeasy eggs since I found out I was prego. Yummy! It was so good. Last week I had a ham and cheese sandwich, which also tasted real good. It's so nice to be able to eat things that were "banned"while pregnant, e.g. coldcuts, raw eggs, etc., without worry. I can't wait to eat a medium rare burger. That will be the ultimate. I mean not to say I didn't eat some deli sandwiches and medium cooked beef while I was pregnant but it wasn't often, and I tried to avoid these things as much as possible.

Also yesterday, we had a baby photoshoot. The baby had to be asleep while being styled in photos. He poo'd on the blankets he was lying on twice, which was kind of gross, but other than that it went pretty well, until he got grumpy after a few hours so we had to stop. But I think all in all, we got some really cute shots! I can't wait to see the final photos.

Today is the first day I am on my own with baby. My bf went to work today. He's so sweet. He made me breakfast and coffee before he left, and left me the above signage (shown in photo). He really knows how to make a girl smile. That's why I love him so.

I think so far so good. I should probably take advantage of this time while the baby is sleeping to eat lunch because you never know how long the baby feeds will last when he's awake, and then I find it hard to schedule in meal time for myself.

abc's of postnatal recovery

A is for voracious appetite. My baby is now 1 week old + 2 days, and ouch! All he wants to do is eat. He seems more irritable now that he's so hungry all the time. I must say breastfeeding is hard work and in my humble opinion hurts more now than my csect recovery. The latching must have been wrong from the very beginning and I've been sore since. Actually the csect recovery isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It still hurts now and then, and especially in the morning, to sit up and get out of bed when i've been lying down for a couple of hours, but once I get up and move about, I feel ok. My boobs are so sore right now, I sometimes feel like not doing the breast feeding thing because it's kind of torturous. Hopefully it gets better with time.

B is for my Brest Friend. Yes that pillow contraption is way helpful for all the feedings I've been having to do lately, as I have one hand free to flip the tv channel or drink water or get the burp cloth ready. Apparently, I heard through the grapevine that this is better than the boppy but I never used the other brand, so I can't compare.

C is for Cream. As in Nipple Cream. It definitely feels nice to put on after feeding. I haven't had issues with the lanolin Lansinoh cream they gave me samples of in the hospital. But I've been trying out the more natural Motherlove cream these past couple of days and it's easy to spread on, not as sticky and thick as the lanolin. It seems this brand is hard to obtain. They don't have it at Babies R Us and the one store where they sell it in my 'hood is out of stock, so I only have sample packets. My BF was nice enough to go out and seek my nipple cream the other day, but as mentioned they were out of stock, so he got me some sample packets, which they wanted to charge him for since he asked for more than 1 packet (come on, really?), but in the end he got them for free.

D is for Drip. The milk is a dripping out. Milk stains everywhere. I guess I'm lucky I don't have milk production issues and it is readily available for the little one but it's sometimes totally out of control. The pediatrician said this would soon regulate itself. I hope so. It's quite a mess. Yes I have pads - Medela ones, which work great. Thank goodness as it would really be a disastrous leaky mess without them. It's quite crazy how the body works and responds. A true mammal.

D is also for Diapers. Which ones are the best to use? So far we've tried Huggies and Pampers. Both seem to leak for us. But Pampers seem to be having the least leakage so this is our best option thus far. I thought Huggies would be good because they have the bellybutton cutout but maybe that makes it more susceptible to leakage?

Yesterday the baby did an unsuspecting pee while we were changing his diaper. I was like, hurry we need to cover it up but we just stood there frozen like deer in headlights, as the pee came shooting out. The funny thing was the pee didn't hit us directly. It actually splashed on the baby's face, hit a bit of the border of the changing table, but mostly fell on the disposable pad we put on the changing table. Those blue disposable pads do come in handy. I just ordered a box of 100 for future use.

Unfortunately with the diapers and these pads, we are massively contributing to pollution and landfillage. My BF's friends are so good. They are using cloth diapers with either a cloth insert or a disposable one. Cloth for at home, and disposable when they go out. I know it's environmentally incorrect, but I just can't imagine hand washing a poopy cloth diaper.

D is also for Dr. Our baby had his first doctor's visit this past Monday. And all was good! He lost weight since he was born, which is normal, but now he needs to gain back to his birthweight. Seeing how much he's been eating, I don't think it will be a problem. We have to go back to the Dr's next Monday for a follow up well visit. He already got a Hep B vaccine in the hospital so I think he doesn't get any other vaccinations until he is a month old.

And last but not least, D is for Drink lots of fluids. As a breastfeeding mother, you need to hydrate! I think I haven't been doing a great job of drinking enough water since my lips have been chapped for the past couple of days, which is usually a sign of dehydration. So need to be conscientious about this.

E is for expecting, as in I still look like I'm expecting to have a baby. They say the stomach will shrink down eventually. And the uterus needs to contract and shrink back to normal. Not sure how long that is supposed to take. While I was in the hospital, my dad asked if I was sure there wasn't another baby left inside me. Haha very funny. I think it shrunk down since the hospital, but I still look about 5 months prego. It's quite weird as my belly is not hard like when the baby was inside me. It's rather soft and if I were to lay on my side, it kind of flops to the side which makes it uncomfortable, as I feel like my intestines are being misdirected. While I was pregnant, I had to lay on my sides all of the time. And now postnatal, all I can do is sleep on my back.

F is for fish, raw fish! Today I just ate a salmon avocado roll. I haven't had sushi in ages and this lunch was very exciting for me. Can't wait to eat a full on sushi or sashimi meal. This was one of the things I truly missed. And our birth class instructor told us that we could eat and drink whatever we wanted after the baby was born...even if breastfeeding, and that sure was a load off of my mind, because while prego I sometimes got a bit paranoid about what I could and could not eat.

Well we've only been parents for a week and few days so that's as far down the alphabet as I am going. We have much to learn and experience and I'm very much looking forward to it. They let us take the baby home from the hospital last Friday, and so far so good. Almost a week at home, and the baby is still alive and kicking!

Labor of Love

Apparently in England they spell labor with a u. They call diapers - nappies, and they call a stroller - a push chair or pram. That's your English lesson for the day. :)

So my C-sect was scheduled for August 10, but I actually went into labor on August 9. I didn't even realize I was in labor. I noticed some spotting at 7:30am when I took my morning shower. I called the doctor around 11:00 to see if this was something I needed to have checked because I was still spotting but it was pink not red, or if it was ok to ignore. She was at the hospital and said I should come down and get checked just in case. I call car service, hop in the car and am at the hospital by around 12:15pm. I get hooked up to a heart monitor around 1:00pm. And low and behold, the doc comes in and tells me, "You're not going anywhere. You're having a baby today. You're in labor. You better call your husband." That was around 2:00pm. They said it looked like I was scheduled to get the c-sect around 4pm unless labor escalated. I was 2 cm dilated at the time. The "contractions" I felt were very much like period cramps. I was expecting something a little more intense so maybe that's why I didn't realize I was in labor. They brought me to the OR at 4pm exactly. I got a spinal injection to numb me from the waist down. I was really scared because I didn't know what to expect. Fiance wasn't allowed in while they prep you for surgery. So I was alone and very nervous. You basically hug a pillow, curve your back out and the anesthesiologist injects 2 things into your spine. And quite quickly your legs become numb. It's weird because you have all your faculties and you can sort of feel things happening to your body pressure wise, but you feel nothing at all. I was scared I would feel something, but I didn't. So after the spinal injections, they lay you out on the table, flip the hospital gown up so that you're barenaked from the ribs down. They put up a blue sheet so that you can't see what they are doing. They stick some sort of sheet on your belly so you're no longer exposed to entire room, with an opening where they will make the incision. And then once they set up, they call in the dad, so J was able to join me on the other side of the sheet. The anesthesiologist asked if I could feel any pain. I tried to focus, and she said you're not supposed to think about it. If you don't feel it, then you are ok. So no I felt no pain even though I tried my darndest to do so because I didn't want to feel anything when I heard something that sounded like a saw. And after a while, you just wonder what they're doing on the other side of the sheet. Eventually I felt pressure as they pushed on the top of my stomach. I had to guess this was when they started pushing the baby out. And then I heard a cry. It brought tears to my eyes. Time: 4: 26pm. Welcome to the world, baby Nico! I couldn't believe it. They brought J over to cut the umbilical cord. The attending physician cleaned off the baby, and J was able to hold him while I was lying there getting sewn up. It was pretty awesome to see MY son (as Joey from Blossom would say: whoa!) for the first time. Unbelievable actually. The thought of it still brings tears to my eyes. He was beautiful (mommy bias?). 18" / 7lbs 9oz. How adorable. J left with the baby to the nursery so they can do whatever it is they do. And I was left in the OR so they could finish sewing me up. The procedure was done an hour later, so by 5:30pm I was out of there and moved to recovery where my parents, sister and Mark were waiting. Actually no one was there when they brought me back in because they were all at the nursery. But eventually they went back into the room and it took them awhile before they brought the baby in because he had to sit under a heat lamp. It was torturous waiting and wondering when I could finally for the first time hold the baby in my arms. But the wait was totally worth it!! It was amazing to finally be up close and personal with the little one.

4 More Days!!!

Four more days until the c-sect. I'm excited and scared. Hope all goes without a hitch.

Last stats from the doc's on Thursday: I'm 140 lbs. blood pressure 90/70. Baby is estimated to be 7 lbs 4 oz. Still breech. Stubborn little one. Circumference of belly is verging on 40".

I'll be on maternity leave soon. I hope to enjoy every minute of it with the baby. Everyone says it goes by fast, and I am sure it will. Funny how random strangers on the street all guess that I'm having a boy. Actually they sound quite certain it's a boy when they see me waddling down the street. They don't ask me, they tell me..."It's a boy." I think it's because the baby is all up front and center like a big giant basketball. Some stranger told me he could tell that the baby already had a mind of his own, and I'll have to be running to keep up. ha.

Anyways, it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon and it's nice to enjoy the quiet time and relax. Might be the last time for awhile.

In the home stretch now

I didn't realize it was my decision to do the ECV (physically push the baby from the outside) procedure or just leave the baby as is and schedule a c-section directly. In speaking with my ob, it seemed fairly logical to just proceed with a c-sect, considering the baby has been in the upside down position for a fairly long time (since 32 weeks I believe) and hasn't switched. She said there's usually a reason - maybe he is too big. And if I go through with ECV, it doesn't always guarantee a vaginal birth anyway. So I discussed with the fiance, and we decided to just go ahead with a c-sect. It is now scheduled for Aug 10, 1pm. Yowzas. That means only a week and 1/2 to go before baby bean is yanked from the comfort of my womb and is forced out into this crazy world!!

All in all, I would say I had an easy pregnancy. I didn't throw up (well maybe once or twice), I'm not so huge I can't get myself out of chairs by myself, I didn't gain massive weight, face didn't change, nose didn't start spreading, didn't gain weight in butt or hips, didn't start farting uncontrollably which I was waiting to happen in my 3rd trimester because I heard that does happen, no heartburn which I heard was also very common in the 3rd trimester, so I could eat whatever I want including spicy food. And no 'roids. I thought I was on the verge of getting them but it didn't happen so that's great. No gestational diabetes, no stitches needed to the cervix, no bed rest.

Here's what I did go through: I was nauseous in my first trimester (ixnay on the curry or balsamic vinegar) but 2nd trimester totally felt better, I still gag when I brush my teeth in the morning, my feet do swell and I get cankles now by the end of the day (thus the limited footwear), back hurts if I sit the wrong way, very uncomfortable to sleep but that preggle body pillow sure does help, hard to turn from side to side when in bed, and hard to get out of bed, peeing 3 x a night. Used to not be able to fall back asleep after getting up to pee, but now I'm much better - that gets you used to having to wake up in the night to feed the baby. And now in the 3rd trimester, I find myself drooling a lot on my pillow when I sleep. I don't usually drool, so that's a weird one. I think it's because my sinuses have been out of whack this whole time.

But all in all not bad at all.

Did I mention that we had 2 baby showers thrown for us? One in BK and one in YonkYonk. That was so great and I'm so thankful for having people in my life that love, care and support us. The bean is much loved even before he's born. Who could ask for anything more?

Holy Hot, Batman!

Today was 98 degrees at 10AM this morning. Think what it must be now. Whew. Like I said before, hot weather is not a pregnant woman's best friend. Anyway survived going to the specialist this morning. They confirmed that baby bean was breech. They said he was "frank breech" which means: the baby's butt is towards the birth canal and his legs stick straight up in front of the body, so his feet are towards his head. hmm I wonder if he's ok to be in that position. Anyway, they also confirmed that he is currently 6 lbs 9 oz. That's pretty big already. They didn't tell me if turning the baby around physically from the outside is a possible option, but the specialist said that usually they prefer to try even if it doesn't work because, if let's say you do have to go into emergency labor (due to baby's blood pressure dropping), then you end up having a c-sect which was the only other alternative option to begin with. This would take place in a hospital so I suppose you would be in good hands. Anyways, he said I would need to discuss the options with my regular ob/gyn on my next visit, which is this Monday. And now I have to visit the specialist every week until labor to check and make sure all is ok with baby since I am over 35. Doctor visits galore.

And on a different note, I just wanted to give a shout out to Birkenstocks. The only sandals I've been wearing since the start of Spring. I don't think I would be able to walk as much as I do, if it weren't for these shoes. They are definitely taking a beating this summer. And even with my swollen, bloated feet, I can still fit into them. Sometimes my feet hurt, after walking for long periods, because the arch supports etc push up against your feet, but all in all they offer the best support. I think I would have had more back pain than what I suffer from now, if I weren't wearing them. Besides the permanent t-strap suntan that I now sport because of the sandals, all on all, these are good shoes to own.

To breech or not to be

So I will be in my 36th week this Thursday. At times it feels like I've been pregnant forever, and at times I can't believe the baby will be here in a few weeks time. Currently the baby is in the wrong position, and this is apparently the critical week where he needs to turn his head down. He seems to like where he is...wanting to go more up instead of down. He is still pushing up against my right ribs every now and again, which is slightly uncomfortable and hurts sometimes. Really weird. I sometimes think he's trying to eavesdrop on conversations when he does this. Anyway, I've tried the kneeling on all fours to get the baby in the right position exercise, but that doesn't seem to be working. I even tried lying on a slant with a bag of ice on the top of my belly to get him to switch (only tried twice) but that also didn't do anything except make my belly really cold, cause the baby to kick a lot, and give me a headache with all the blood rushing to my head. Friday I go to the specialist who will determine how big the baby is and see if he can be manually moved externally into the right position (which is high risk and might lower the baby's blood pressure and force me into early labor) or if the baby is too big and my pelvis is too small for the baby to fit through the birth canal, so will need a c-section.

I guess I am looking like I'm about to explode. Lots more people..strangers...have been telling me this lately. Someone even asked me if I swallowed a watermelon. Ah, right - that was one of my cousins being a dick. Although, there are a few people who actually tell me I look small. Funny - people's perspectives. I personally do feel like my belly will explode any minute or I will tip over. I mean, will my belly really expand even more than now? It's been pretty much at 36" - 37" - 38"circumference depending on how the baby has positioned himself. I've used my belly as table to write on. I can use it as an armrest when I'm holding a drink. I feel the need to put a napkin on it, instead of my lap, because it's now where the food or condensation from a cup land. I have trouble fitting into a booth. It's like bumper cars with my belly against the table. I feel like I am starting to waddle instead of walk. My feet and ankles start swelling in the heat, or if I stand or sit for a long period of time. The swelling thing has been happening more so now in the last few weeks but it also has been a lot hotter lately. Heat is really not a pregnant woman's best friend. The worst has to be I can't find a good sleeping position anymore, even with my preggle (body pillow). That thing seems to egg on charlie horses when I'm changing positions at night. Ah but it's not that bad and it will be all be worth it in the end, right?

135 - 37 1/4"

Stats in my 30th - 31st week:
Weight: 135 lbs.
Circumference of belly: 37.25" and growing

hmm how big am i going to get? this week my belly has increased 1/4" from last. at that rate, by the end of it all, i will be at 39" - 40". my doc thinks my belly is quite large and is afraid the baby might be big. or she said maybe because he's breech right now, my belly just looks larger than the baby actually is. i'm hoping it's the latter because i'd rather squeeze the baby out than have a c-sect. maybe i just have a lot of amniotic fluid in my belly which makes it look distended. anyway, hopefully the baby will move into the correct position by my 36th week. I can't really tell where his head is. It seems like he keeps moving around in circles. Last week he was sideways, this week he was head on top. He often likes to burrow towards the right side of my belly so instead of having a round basketball belly, it's lopsided to the right. it is the oddest sensation to have something living and moving inside of you.

i went to my first birthing class and they were going over signs of labor, and giving birth..various positions to relieve pain or push...close up videos of babies coming out of vagina...ouch... i am totally scared of going into labor and what the pain may entail. but i want to go all natural if possible. it seems the best way for the baby. or maybe the midwife/teacher just seems to be biased towards that position. if the pain is unbearable, then well..i may change my mind. i just pray i don't go into preterm labor. but you can't worry about all these things. you just need to live and let things unfold on their own. worrying doesn't help matters.

we just celebrated father's day yesterday. it was a beautiful day - perfect weather. we met my parents and sister at the world financial plaza and had lunch by the water. my sis was supposed to work at the financial plaza - there was a bang on the drum music festival there. my parents went off to South Street Seaport - we got them a gift to sail around the hudson on one of those old sail boats. We left and walked around battery park to see if there was a good wedding spot but didn't find anything specific. then we headed back to Brooklyn and walked on 7th avenue. there was a craft fair that started all the way by warren st and ended at 16th st. we wanted to see a friend's booth - she is now selling hand made jewelry - pretty and dainty. i walked from bergen to the end. my feet and back were killing me. if i weren't pregnant, i think my feet and back would still be killing me with all the walking we did. the back pain is pretty prevalent now. if you lie in a certain position and move your legs, or sit the wrong way, you get a shooting pain down your lower back. aack. i bought a body pillow like everyone suggests. i'm not sure if it works any better than my normal pillow between my legs but it is more firm which i suppose is better so it doesn't flatten out. hard to fit two people and a body pillow in a full size bed tho. i feel like one day i will accidently fall out of the bed.

the day before that we went to look at wedding bands at moc's dad's shop. we picked a matching set. waiting to get pricing. so things are slowly but surely moving along.

Memorial Day Weekend and hitting the 28th Week

This weekend was Memorial Day. I went on a road trip with my hubby-to-be to Washington, D.C. It was nice to getaway from NY for a little while. Nice to not have to think about moving and unpacking and just relax and have no schedule whatsoever. It wasn't the beach or anything, but it was still nice. We took the greyhound bus which was totally chaotic, but what do you expect? Supposedly it had wi-fi and it did have plugs so you can plug in your charger or your lap top if you brought one. That's a nice perk. There was hardly any traffic going there and leaving. What more can you ask for?

Saturday we arrived late afternoon. Our hotel room wasn't ready yet so we wandered to Union Station and got some food. We also got some ice cream and looked at the stores that they had over there. We went back to our hotel and the room was ready by then thank goodness, and we just stayed in and relaxed.

Sunday we walked all over the place, visited museums: Native American, Air and Space, Natural History, the Botanical Gardens, the Sculpture Garden, walked to Capital Hill, the Washington Monument, White House, ate near the Spy Museum but didn't go in. My feet were in the worse pain I have ever felt from walking. I think I totally overexerted myself, but the baby seems ok. I think I have one tough kid in my belly. My stomach broke out in some kind of heat rash too. Ugh. But it went away by the end of the next day. There was a motorcyle brigade - in honor of Memorial Day on Sunday as well. The line of bikes, mostly Harleys, kept going and going and going and going. It made it pretty hard to cross the street. It was pretty hot out but not as hot as the next day so thank goodness we got all that walking done before Monday. I got to see my godparents / my godsister and met her kids for the first time on Monday. They are so adorable! The eldest (2 yrs old) has the most beautiful smile, and the baby (6 mos) was a little pudge and also really smiley and happy. It was great to see them. It's hard to imagine that pretty soon I will have my own little one to take care of.

In a couple of weeks, I start taking my birthing class, and we get a tour of the hospital facilities. That should be interesting. Everything is happening so fast, and I still have to finish unpacking my stuff in the new apt. I'm sort of almost done...but not quite. Did I mention we set a wedding date too?

26 weeks, 129.5 lbs

so those are my stats right now in my 26th week. i'm supposed to only gain a pound a week for the rest of my pregnancy. hope i can stick to that. i'm feeling pretty big. people are now offering their seats to me on the subway. you know your obviously large when that starts happening. the interesting thing that i've found is that it's mostly women that offer me their seat.

thursday i took the gestational diabetes test. results will be available by next Monday. i had to drink a bottle of some orange liquid that did taste like flat orange soda (my friend mentioned that's how it would taste). didn't taste bad at all. the week before i had to go to a specialist, cardiologist to get a fetal echocardiogram because they saw a glimmer in the baby's heart on one of the sonograms, which is an indication of calcium build up in the heart. it was really worrying, as that is considered a marker that increases your chances of down's syndrome. if they see this in a sonogram, then they need to check the heart for the existence of other markers. but in my case, the heart looked perfectly normal and fine so the Dr. told us there was nothing to worry about. it was stressing me out the moment my ob told me about it up until i had the appt with the cardiologist. it was such a relief to find out everything was ok.

now in all my pregnancy books, it warns against food poisoning and the like. it's going to make me paranoid about everything i eat.

one year

one year anniversary just passed. both with my man and my cousin's death. time sure flies and at the same time, it feels like there isn't enough time. i got to see all my cousins this weekend as they flew in to yonkers from all over the country for my cousin's one year. yes i am amidst controversy, being unmarried and pregnant, although no one has really approached me to my face to say anything bad. they either avoid "the topic"/me all together or they seem to be very happy for me. ...although my aunt did speak to my fiance about getting married before the baby was born. it seems to be a concern for many.

kind of hard to ignore the stomach. i am now in my 23rd week and i think my tummy has exploded in size from just 2 weeks ago. i went shopping for a dress yesterday to wear at my friend's wedding, and the baby bump is definitely center stage.

gurgle, bubble, pop..kick!

So my stomach's been gurgling a lot lately and sometimes it feels like a bubble popping, and recently when I put my hand where it feels like it's about to pop, it's a little kick! It's the baby moving. Sometimes my belly will get super hard in one spot - maybe it's the baby's head or butt pushing against me to change position. It feels awkward and slightly uncomfortable. I was worried because I hadn't been feeling any movement at all. But now I do. Looking forward to more because it's utterly amazing and fascinating that there's life inside me. It's so natural yet so odd, the miracle and mystery of life.

I am now past my 20th week, starting my 21st week. I went to the specialist on Friday and I got to see the baby's little hands and feet, all ten fingers and all ten toes! They looked at his heart, lung, brain development, spinal cord, etc. via sonogram. Won't get results until my next visit to the OB but everything seemed ok to me, not that I'm a sonogram expert. We even got a photo of his wee willy winky - 95% it's a boy. Looks pretty obvious in the photo. So, is it embarrassing to forward this photo to people? Too late. Already sent it out to people.

Hmm still working on a name for the baby. Will me and my man ever agree on a name? Maybe when the baby is actually born.

Hopefully we will have an apartment finalized this week...I am waiting to hear back from the mgmt company about our application/credit check.

19 weeks and feeling...nothing?

My tummy is getting bigger and bigger, feeling fine but not feeling the baby move at all yet. That worries me a little. Am I supposed to be feeling some kicks by now? Sometimes I feel like a pitter pattering on my intestines and wonder if that is the "butterfly in the stomach" feeling that the doctor said I would start feeling in the upcoming weeks. Anyway I have a doctor's appointment with both the specialist and the regular OB/GYN next week, so they can allay my worries and let me know if all is ok.

I am now past the halfway mark. Time sure flies.

House

Not the tv show. Me. That's what I'm starting to feel like. And I'm only half way through pregnancy. Yowzas. How big am I going to get?

2nd Trimester Traversing

Now in my second trimester (16 weeks), and I feel kind of big. I just flew to England this past weekend (Feb 24 - 28) and met my boyfriend's family for the first time. A couple of days before the England trip, I had a doctor's appointment and I was able to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was amazing. Steady, fast and strong! It's amazing that life exists inside me, even though I can't really feel it. My tummy is getting bigger day by day. And the doctor mentioned then that I should feel movement (like butterflies in my stomache) in about 2 weeks. I think I am feeling it now. Every now and then it feels like something is fluttering against my intestines. If that's not the baby, then something weird is going on inside me.

Anyway, back to England, I guess his family wanted to see who exactly this girl that he knocked up was, and ofcourse they wanted to meet me before the baby arrives. I was a little nervous. It's a lot of pressure to meet the parents, and the brothers and in laws, and aunts and uncles, etc. There are definitely not too many Asians in the English countryside. I saw a few more in the London area. So I wasn't sure how they would react to me. Not that everyone thinks solely on race and color, but you never know. But his parents, brothers, sister-in-law were all just so lovely. I see a lot of love there, and they were all so very kind hearted, and lots of fun. We went to London for a day and went all over town: rode the London Eye, went to the Tower of London, saw the London Bridge, went to Camden Markets, Covent Gardens, Trifalgar Square, ate fish n chips at a pub. His brother lives in a town called Peterfield which is where we stayed. It is a really quaint and pretty place. And although we were in the countryside, one of the great things was you can walk to town from their house. My boyfriend's neice was so very cute and adorable. She was only 12 weeks old and it was such a pleasure meeting her and getting to hang out with her as well. Overall a very eventful trip.

And now I am back in NY with a terribly painful cold. I don't know why my neck and chest hurt so much. I couldn't even sleep last night from the pain. What is going on? I started taking anti-biotics, since the doc thought it would be better to take care of it now instead of letting it prolong, which in turn could turn into Pnemonia, and who wants that? I feel like total crap right now, though and can't wait to get into bed. I went to the specialist today and they took more sonograms. According to the technician, I am definitely having a boy! My dad will be very happy about this I think. The baby has an awesomely round head. He always seems to be sucking his thumb or maybe eating his hand? The problem is we haven't come up with any boy names that we can agree on.

To top off all the excitement, I cannot move into my boyfriend's apartment because the landlady doesn't want any kids in the building, as the building is not up to code. And apparently once a kid is in the building, inspectors start sniffing around. So now I have to search for a new place to live. Hopefully this won't be too hard a task, but it usually is. And hopefully we can find a place that isn't too expensive. Will the excitement never end?

Well next week is my dad's retirement party. Do I break it to the fam, that I am pregnant? I don't think my parents have told anyone. I am pretty much showing now so it's hard to hide.

A New Chapter of Life

So many things have changed since I last entered a blog. I've moved on from a French guy to an English one. So atleast we speak the same language but I still find there are many expressions they use on the other side of the pond, that we hear in NY have never heard of. so there is some loss of translation even if we both are speaking the English language. We started dating in April, a great first date...dinner and a movie (alice in wonderland) then barhopping jazz clubs around the west village. The following week, my cousin passed away unexpectedly and it was totally devastating for me and my family. I didn't know how to get through it but he was there, totally supportive. Here I was feeling that I should be totally in mourning, but at the same time, I was falling in love. Could that be ok? And now here I am 9 months later, engaged...and in my 12th week of pregnancy. The first several weeks I wasn't feeling so well, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I guess I was all around neausous, gagging everytime I brushed my teeth and/or throwing up. Yesterday was the first day in awhile that I actually felt good, not tired not bloated and fat and frumpy. And I brushed my teeth at night and didn't gag. That was very eventful. Maybe it's a turn towards the better for the 2nd trimester. :)