life cycle

We're coming to that age where the fate of our parents is unknown.  My friend's father just passed away a few days ago.  You never really know what the future holds for us or for our parents or for our children for that matter.  But our parents aren't getting any younger.  It just makes you realize you do really need to appreciate your parents while they are here.  My mother and I have always had a volatile relationship.  For some reason, there are certain things that she says or does that make me regress back to my teenage years where I blow up in my mother's face like a raging volcano.  She has a way of hitting a nerve.  But I really should try to get past that and try to be an adult and be civil and kind and respectful.  It's hard to bite my tongue sometimes though.  Or I am clearly very impatient with her about things I assume everyone should know (I'm talking technology here) but you know she didn't grow up in the computer age and she is learning as best as she can or as best as she wants to.  I just need to learn to be more patient about the how to's and the not knowing, and the "can you do that for me"'s, etc.  Now that I am a parent, I realize more and more that there sometimes is no right or wrong.  There is no precise rule book on how to raise a child properly. You just learn as you go.  I know there are a lot of books out there that tell you the proper ways of parenting or what the experts think, but they don't take into account the different personalities and situations that everyone is dealing with on an individual basis.  I really do fear f****** my child up psychologically somehow, and perhaps that is somehow inevitable.  I know a lot of people who blame their parents for a lot of the issues they currently deal with, so it seems to be the cycle of life. 

The other day I found myself yelling at my child at the top of my lungs because he wasn't listening to me and was persistently doing the exact opposite of what I said not to do.  Ugh!  It was so frustrating.  But then I thought to myself - what am I doing?  I can't yell at a barely 2 year old the way I would yell at a full blown adult.  Is he just having fun..or is he trying to push my buttons?  Is he even understanding what I'm ranting and raving about or does he think this big person has gone mad crazy and is a total looney?  It's hard to find a balance sometimes when you see your patience slowly dwindling.  I rarely yell at an adult that way except at my sister on rare occasions...sorry sis.   So yelling is bad for a child but utilizing a stern voice and time out is the way to go.  He's about at the 2 minute mark for time out.  Yes, I've been watching Jo the super nanny for training advice.  I just hope when he gets older that he'll respect me and his dad.  I see some children nowadays speaking to their parents and sometimes the respect is totally lost.