Find what you love..

As I approach my last day on the job, I know I need to focus on my next step and what I should be doing.  There is this blog I often read called Decor8.  I like reading design blogs and the sort.  Holly Becker is the blogger of this site and posted something on the day Steve Jobs died.  Yes I know it's an old post but she references his commencement address to Stanford University, which I just now read...

http://decor8blog.com/2011/10/06/youve-got-to-find-what-you-love/
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Steve Jobs was an inspiration to many.  His speech is really inspirational.

Having lost a cousin unexpectedly and so early in life, you truly realize that you really never know how much time you have left in this world and you should make it worth while.  I've lived most of my life to the constraints of what people expect of me.   Ok maybe i haven't lived totally to the confines of the morals of my parent's generation and upbringing but pretty close to it..Get good grades, go to college, get a 9 to 5 job.   I've had my job for 13 years.  13 years of sitting on my ass in front of a computer, slaving away to the grind, helping as best I can to keep the company going.  But where does that get you if you aren't the owner of the company?  You're just a cog.   I suppose there's nothing wrong with being part of a team, a cog that helps the machine keep running, but shouldn't there be more to life?  Is there more to life? I see how others are doing things they enjoy and love and it's a more fulfilling life instead of the drudgery of a job just so you can keep paying the bills. 
I always felt like I was an artist trapped in the body of some conservative upbringing, always afraid to leave my comfort zone and venture out into the world and see what's out there, not wanting to be a failure, not wanting to find out that perhaps the creativity I believed was inside me wasn't really worthy of expression.

Where do I go from here?  Now that I'm being laid off, I have the time to really focus on what I want to do.  I also now for the first time can really focus on taking care of my son.  Since the day he was born, I was still working..even while on maternity leave, I had one eye on the computer.  Anyways, I look forward to doing different activities with him, instead of him sadly being stuck in the apartment while I work.   I was thinking I might do something part time instead of full time...I don't know.